I finished most of this post 3 weeks ago, but couldn’t get around to publishing it, since it seemed incomplete. I don’t know if it is complete now, but let’s see. What do you think of, when the phrase “high self-esteem” is uttered to you? I am guessing the following: confident, high sense of self-worth, openness, and socially adept. And when you look at the lives of people with high self-esteem, you wonder as to how everything works out for them, irrespective of the situation. So you go back home and wonder – “What is it that I need to do so as to be like that?”. Looking at the above list, 2 qualities seem to stand out quite distinctly – confidence & high sense of self worth. Since this has obviously a lot to do with your current circumstances & upbringing, you decide to do the following – change your thoughts about yourself and develop new habits . Suddenly things seems different – you feel invincible! You have found answers to the problem you have been grappling with all your life. There’s a spring in your step, a tingling sensation coursing through your veins, and you can’t stop smiling. And voila – the results appear quicker than you had anticipated. Suddenly you are cooler, people & situations are responding more positively to you, and life looks like a bunch of pink roses. You have arrived, and everyone can see it as you walk around with your head held [...]
“Yo! Read many of your blog entries..and I should say liked it a lot ! keep them coming …and inspired by you, I going to to copy the ‘Gratitude’ idea onto my own journal (private)…unless it is protected by patents and such “ I received this unexpectedly from a friend a couple of months back. Given that this guy reads some pretty esoteric stuff, I have chosen to take it as a pretty big compliment. There have been a few people who have read my posts, and talked to me about them, and helped me get better. But when I started writing, I was pretty nervous that I would sound lame, or that my writings wouldn’t have any uniqueness, and the whole world would laugh at me. The thing which gave me confidence to continue writing was this statement made by 2 people – “You should write more often. When you write, it actually feels like you are talking to the person.”. One of them is a dear friend and he knows I am grateful for his support. But the other person and I have drifted apart due to various reasons. This post is to just let her know that I appreciate her encouraging words. It’s very easy to forget someone’s contribution to your life in the web of disagreements and disconnect. And all you are left with is a sad feeling about your association. But if we actually take the time out to appreciate what they have done, maybe, [...]
MISF!T (My Interest Stays Firmly In Theatre) is starting the new Level 1 (Batch 24) acting course/workshop on 6th Nov 2011. This is the 10th year of MISF!T’s acting workshops. Level 1 is the foundation course which aims to bring out the fun of acting, make participants shed their inhibitions, teach them stagecraft, pantomime, and character building. It is also for people without any background in acting. The objective is to make them as natural as possible. To fix your appointment for registration (or for further details), call us at 9241500886 or 9886035100 only between 12:00pm-2:00pm and 6:00pm-8:00pm(this would be the best option). For more details go on to“Events” page on misfit.co.in .
I have struggled with fear for as long as I remember, and over this time it’s become my greatest enemy. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt, and the list goes on. I have to engage in a full-blown battle every few weeks, to beat it down, and keep it there. It’s a battle which drains me out, but I keep fighting since I don’t intend to accept defeat (talk about your classic big ego!). But the primary reason I fight my fear is …wait for it…wait…because I am a bleeding idiot! I never realized (though I understood at a rational level) the purpose of the fear; most of the time I either gave in or I buried it. Either way, it grew into a monstrous beast. The fact was that I never learnt to deal with fear effectively. Most people never do, or more precisely are never taught how to. They only learn techniques to handle their fear and survive. For example, I had a fear of ghosts when I was a kid. Walking into a dark bedroom 4 feet away from my well lit living room used to make me break out in a cold sweat. But since I couldn’t avoid going into the room, I used 2 approaches to handle it: Never enter a dark room. Pretend to be brave, but get in and get out in the wink of an eye. None of the above choices really changed my perspective of the dark. [...]
One of the fundamental themes that spiritualists and therapists always talk about is acceptance – about how we need to accept the world as it is to attain peace. That we would not always get what we desire, and that trying to control your surroundings is meaningless. That the universe operates to its own rhythm, and we can either align with it and be happy, or struggle against it and be miserable. But take a moment and ask yourself this question – “Is what they are saying really true? Aren’t our desires being fulfilled? Can’t we control our environment to suit our needs?”. Think, and think long and hard about this. The answers may astound you! The answer you will most probably find is – “No, I am unhappy and life sucks and I don’t get most of the things I want!”, or some variant of this. Ironically though, that very answer is the most convincing proof that, you will get what you wish; because in this case what most people would wish, is to find that answer. Re-read the last sentence again – “what most people would wish, is to find that answer”, rather than “what most people would wish, is to find an answer”. So, to summarize – I wanted to find ‘x’, and I found ‘x’, which implies I got what I wanted. Let us look at a more practical example. Have you met people who always expect their current partners or their prospective partners to cheat [...]
So, all the data was there, with the noise removed. This was as clean a data set as I could get. Not sparse, very little noise, and a representation which captured reality very precisely. And others had seen the exact same data; so there was no doubt in the quality of the data. But…but, I still could not find a good theory to make any sense out of it. I needed a function which would explain the latent variables in the system. I tried a lot of them, but they all failed short. Some functions couldn’t model all the variables, and some brought about a weak correlation between the latent and the observed variables (Bang…Bang…Bang…that was the sound of my head banging against the wall.). I had almost given up on finding a solution, in the near future. So then I went back to literature survey, trying to see if others had done something similar. Actually, I went back to literature survey just to read something…anything interesting, and not necessarily related to the problem at hand. And voila! There it was. A theory which neatly explained the phenomena, and used precisely the same data points I had discovered. The pieces fell together so perfectly…it was beautiful! A few years is a long time to spend on a problem, particularly if you have looked at the problem from various perspectives, and tried really hard to find an overarching theory. And just when I thought that I couldn’t find my answers or [...]
I have been meaning to write various versions of this post for the past few weeks. I have pondered and pondered, trying to get the right structure and words, but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. So, finally I said, “Screw this”, and decided to just write it. There are multiple aspects to this whole situation, so I still don’t know whether this post will be coherent. The last couple of years have been rather interesting (a polite way of saying “shitty”), when it comes to my relationships. Many moons ago (when I was 30 kilos lighter), I had gone through a similar phase. And my response then was, to shut myself from the world, and live in the world of computers and problem solving. This self-imposed exile lasted for around 3 years, before I decided I had to make a re-entry. A couple of years later, the same thing happened all over again. So, it was decided, I was never going to be naive again; I was going to arm myself. I studied psychology, learnt new techniques, I even studied the books of David J Liebermann, to ensure I don’t go through the same shit all over again. Things got better for a few years until the end of 2009. From then onwards, things got shitty in a much worse fashion. And my response was the same again, reduce contact with homo sapiens while focusing on career. Ironically, that made things even worse. Much much worse. Over the [...]
I would like to apologize to a lot of people for something I have been doing for a longtime. For as far as I can remember, I have been pretending to be someone I am not, albeit unknowingly, and this has put a strain on a lot of my relationships. But since becoming aware of this pattern, I have been wanting to speak about it openly, and be comfortable with the truth. More importantly, I would like to seek the forgiveness of all the people who have been hurt because of this. People, the truth is, the undeniable, unshakable truth is that…”I am not stupid.”. I know many of you think I am dumb, and would never wise up to your games. But unfortunately, I know; I know from the first sentence said to me aimed at toying with me. I can, unfortunately for you, read between the lines, employ Captain Subtext, and also respond in a fashion which gives the impression that I have bought the poppycock you have been feeding me. Usually when you see me smiling while listening to your cock and bull story, it is because I am thinking about how to make it better, whether it is by fixing the holes in the story, delivering the story with a different graph, or using different body language techniques. It is because I am too selfish…too selfish to tell you to “sock it”. But I don’t blame you for any of this. It is my mistake. I [...]
So what makes MiSF!T so good at teaching acting? Just take a look at it’s founder, Ratan Thakore Grant, and the answer is right there. Ratan has donned various roles in his career spanning two and a half decades – Movie, Theatre, and TV actor, model, choreographer, director, producer, script writer, stage designer, therapist (I heard some of his students addressing him as “Baba”, a pretty common occurance according to him), but I’m going to focus on his role as “teacher extraordinaire”, a task which he’s been doing for almost one and half decades. The first thing you notice about him are his extremely long and rapid strides while walking; this is a man with purpose. Of course, it’s hard not to notice him, given that he looks like a cross between Sean Connery, Hugh Jackman, and Pierce Brosnan, with a voice which makes the students freeze instantly, irrespective of age. I guess he needs to do it, since most of them keep buzzing around like a bunch of excited little kids, in anticipation of the class. Not surprising, since he’s one of the most engaging teacher you’ll ever meet, or more specifically, experience. Sitting in his class is clearly an experience. Here’s somebody who has a very clear idea of how he’s going to structure the class, mixing the easy and difficult concepts, theory and practicals, serious discussions and childlike activities, in a seamless fashion, each following the next like a beautifully choreographed dance. A fundamental requirement for being [...]
This is the first part of a 2 part write-up What does acting have to do with, people pulling each others’ cheeks and talking like babies? Or jumping around and screaming like a bunch of pre-historic neanderthals? Let’s face it, the probability of getting a movie or play role, which involves either of the above, is so remote, that you might as well call it impossible (Movies like 10,000 B.C. and Apocalypto get made once in a blue moon). I don’t know the relation of these exercises with acting, but in MiSF!T, these are considered important for the development of an actor. It must be true, because the performances put up by the students, are freakishly fabulous! The funny thing about this place is that you find people from all walks of life, and the initial perception is, “This is one motley crew – actors, models, designers, engineers, scientists, businessmen, students, housewives! What the hell can these guys achieve under one roof?”. It doesn’t really make sense, since each of the above can be considered an archetype. And teaching an artform like acting to this group does seem like, if not impossible and vain, a long and arduous process. So how does MiSF!T pull it off? Because acting, according to Ratan Thakore Grant (the founder of MiSF!T), is a process. A process which is structured, disciplined, and requires commitment, and hardly has anything to do with your talent, background, experience, IQ, EQ, or any other Q. A process, so rooted [...]