So, all the data was there, with the noise removed. This was as clean a data set as I could get. Not sparse, very little noise, and a representation which captured reality very precisely. And others had seen the exact same data; so there was no doubt in the quality of the data. But…but, I still could not find a good theory to make any sense out of it. I needed a function which would explain the latent variables in the system. I tried a lot of them, but they all failed short. Some functions couldn’t model all the variables, and some brought about a weak correlation between the latent and the observed variables (Bang…Bang…Bang…that was the sound of my head banging against the wall.). I had almost given up on finding a solution, in the near future. So then I went back to literature survey, trying to see if others had done something similar. Actually, I went back to literature survey just to read something…anything interesting, and not necessarily related to the problem at hand. And voila! There it was. A theory which neatly explained the phenomena, and used precisely the same data points I had discovered. The pieces fell together so perfectly…it was beautiful! A few years is a long time to spend on a problem, particularly if you have looked at the problem from various perspectives, and tried really hard to find an overarching theory. And just when I thought that I couldn’t find my answers or [...]
I have been meaning to write various versions of this post for the past few weeks. I have pondered and pondered, trying to get the right structure and words, but I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. So, finally I said, “Screw this”, and decided to just write it. There are multiple aspects to this whole situation, so I still don’t know whether this post will be coherent. The last couple of years have been rather interesting (a polite way of saying “shitty”), when it comes to my relationships. Many moons ago (when I was 30 kilos lighter), I had gone through a similar phase. And my response then was, to shut myself from the world, and live in the world of computers and problem solving. This self-imposed exile lasted for around 3 years, before I decided I had to make a re-entry. A couple of years later, the same thing happened all over again. So, it was decided, I was never going to be naive again; I was going to arm myself. I studied psychology, learnt new techniques, I even studied the books of David J Liebermann, to ensure I don’t go through the same shit all over again. Things got better for a few years until the end of 2009. From then onwards, things got shitty in a much worse fashion. And my response was the same again, reduce contact with homo sapiens while focusing on career. Ironically, that made things even worse. Much much worse. Over the [...]