One of the fundamental themes that spiritualists and therapists always talk about is acceptance – about how we need to accept the world as it is to attain peace. That we would not always get what we desire, and that trying to control your surroundings is meaningless. That the universe operates to its own rhythm, and we can either align with it and be happy, or struggle against it and be miserable.
But take a moment and ask yourself this question – “Is what they are saying really true? Aren’t our desires being fulfilled? Can’t we control our environment to suit our needs?”. Think, and think long and hard about this. The answers may astound you!
The answer you will most probably find is – “No, I am unhappy and life sucks and I don’t get most of the things I want!”, or some variant of this. Ironically though, that very answer is the most convincing proof that, you will get what you wish; because in this case what most people would wish, is to find that answer.
Re-read the last sentence again – “what most people would wish, is to find that answer”, rather than “what most people would wish, is to find an answer”.
So, to summarize – I wanted to find ‘x’, and I found ‘x’, which implies I got what I wanted.
Let us look at a more practical example. Have you met people who always expect their current partners or their prospective partners to cheat on them? And due to their ill luck, they mostly end up with partners who cheat on them? These people talk and talk and talk and zzz….(Sorry, I dozed off) about how they deserve to find someone loyal, but that life/god/universe is playing a game with them. But what neither they nor we really notice is that life constantly meets their expectations. They expected to be cheated upon and they were cheated upon. What more does one require to be content and happy? Hell, if I was life, I would have developed serious self-confidence issues by now.
There are numerous examples in everyone’s life which would validate the above. Think about it (a lot), and you will be convinced.
So, to nail it down, our experiences are simply a manifestation of our expectations. This implies that we can change our experiences by changing our expectations. And this is where it becomes difficult, since it requires that we get of our lazy asses and grow.
Simple self-affirmations aren’t going to help. Taking the above example, constantly telling yourself – “The next person I get involved with will love me to death”, isn’t going to change anything. You will get screwed royally, and then screwed over (and you will end up buying useless books which will fuel your foolishness). This is because changing expectations from life, involves changing the expectations you have from yourself. It means you can’t be thinking and doing the same things. You will have to break the hell out of our comfort zone of your pre-existing beliefs and consequent actions. You will have to persevere and be patient. And all of that is hard work. A lot of hard work.
The “what do I want” can be discovered fairly quickly, the real challenge is “what do I need to do to get what I want”?
Of course, there are those who completely misinterpret the above. They change and become completely different, but things still remain the same. The real problem is that though the changes are significant, the root beliefs are still the ones ingrained in them during their childhood. What they have done is a cover up job, but they still repeat their mistakes, albeit in a different set of circumstances. Their actions are partially, and do not have a strong foundation in their psyche.
All of the above can be reduced to one single statement – “If you want a different reality, make sure you have a different perspective.”. Or something like that.
To simplify- if you want a different reality, make sure you have a different perspective.